Reedstorm-shadowclan

[redwhisker]

REEDSTORM

"Dark ginger tom with pale green eyes."

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Gender:Tom
Age:27 moons.
Clan: Shadowclan
Position:Deputy

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Physical Description:

Reedstorm is a dark ginger tom with pale green eyes. He has short orange fur. He also has light orange stripes. if there was anything about him that would catch the eyes of the ladies, it would be his build. He’s a very large tom, rising higher than the average feline and with muscles that are large, but covered well by his thick coat. For those that think that his largeness is due only to his coat, they are in for a great surprise when they get into a fight with this good tom.

Personality Description:

The most adventurous tom. He would be the one to leave and go on his own when he was a kit. He still goes out and sits by himself. He is very loyal and will never let his clan down. If he was needed, he would run as fast as he could to get there. He is very kind and will die for his clan if he wanted to. He has another side to him that is sadistic and evil with a very high and near-unbreakable ambition. When Reedstorm is perched on a rock, staring off into space, he's not dreaming about his next meal. He is often thinking of the grand scheme of things, and likes working out problems in his head. He may not always come up with an answer to many things, but he still enjoys the challenge of trying to solve a puzzle.

History:

When Reedstorm was a kit, he was the one who wanted to see the whole world. He didn't care what his parents said or anything. He was a trouble maker and lead his sister Willowkit in trouble as well too. Sometimes she would take the blame but then they would know it was Reedkit.

When he got to be an apprentice, his mentor was strict with him and didn't let him play with his siblings. He said he wanted to be the best warrior, so be it, not to play around and do training and chores. When that blew over, he was so busy to care what was going on in the world, he didn't know that his sister was in Riverclan until his father told him.

Reedstorm was born to Leopardmoon and Gingerheart. He was the fourth born out of six kits. His parents both died from Greencough and he was very sad about it. It happened all to soon, The leader had named him deputy and he was very happy about it. His siblings were surrounding him cheering him on except for Willowfeather. She was in Riverclan enjoying her life there. He misses his sister dearly and wishes that she could of stayed instead of left.

RP Sample

Reedstorm stretched out of the warriors den and decided to go for a walk. He had slept most of the day because he wasn't really feeling well. He would not touch catnip for a while. His tail touched the forest floor and his head looking to the ground. His paws going where ever they led him, he didn't care where he was going. He looked up and saw where he was; near the mirror pond. He sighed and then herd a voice, It's only me he said. The shadowclan deputy went over to Rosefox and sat down next to her. Isn't the sky beautiful at this time of day?he asked her. He was looking over towards the Riverclan boarder and thought about his sister, Willowfeather. I wonder how she is he thought.

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Name:Red, Redwhisker, Larissa
Age:19
Current Characters: Nope
Email:[e-mail]

[Miu]

Your history needs to be longer. The rules say two long, well written paragraphs.

Your RP sample needs to be longer as well. You simply talk about catnip. That doesn't invite others in to rp with you.

EDIT:
Your sentences are very choppy.

Your history is still missing some parts. How does he have a sister? When did she move to riverclan? Was she born there? What happened when he was an apprentice? What happened when he was a warrior? Please tell of his mentoring experience. Just basically add more details.

In your personality please tell some negative traits.